I remember it like it was yesterday.
I was in my very first network marketing company and I was looking for people to recruit.
At the time I was a sales rep at local auto auction.
I decided that I was going to go tell one of the car dealers about my business.
I rolled into his Car lot, Eager with anticipation.
The garage doors on his shop were up, he was inside, just waiting to join my business (or so I thought).
I remember starting toward him and seeing him smile, happy to see me.
It was then that I opened my mouth.
Hey Carter, I’m so excited to tell you about this new product that I think you’re going to love.
I saw his eyes widen…
… He took a step back with a distinct aura of fear surrounding his being.
In my mind I thought I could hear music from the twilight zone, Playing in the background.
My heart sank, As I realized, That I had just violated Almost all of the fundamental principles, of working with people.
My very first mentor in network marketing told me, Paul, if you want to be successful in this business, you need to become a student of human nature.
Napoleon Hill writes, in his book the Laws of success, that indispensable law number nine is a pleasing personality.
Furthermore he writes that law number 12, is cooperation.
The introduction to this book is over 100 pages, Detailing The intricate workings of the mastermind principle, which functions successfully only when there is a spirit of perfect harmony among the members of the mastermind.
Okay, okay I’m starting to get it, working with people is important.
So where go to learn how to work with people?
Great question.
If think and grow rich is the Bible Of money making And wealth creation,
….I’d venture to say, that How to Win friends and influence people, written in the same year as think and grow rich, just might be the Bible of successfully working with people.
And from that amazing book, Here are seven shortcuts to winning friends and influencing people like a pro.
Shortcut one – never Criticize Condemn Or Complain
But wait, when people are doing things wrong we need to make sure that they know it,
… for their own good right?
According to Dale Carnegie – WRONG!
Think about it.
Can you recall the last time someone criticized you?
I can.
It was just yesterday.
How did you take it?
Mine tasted very sour and I wanted to immediately spit it back out.
And why?
It’s because human nature – makes us want to be right, not wrong.
When someone tells us – straight up that we’re doing something wrong – we typically resent and resist… EVEN IF THEY’RE RIGHT.
So knowing this is true about ourselves, why on Earth would we continue – fruitlessly trying to condemn, criticize and complain other people into getting better?
(regardless of our purely noble motives) 🙂
Rule of thumb #1 in working successfully with people – is NEVER condemn, criticize or complain.
Now, this doesn’t mean there’s never a time or place for coaching & helping people to change – there is…
In fact, the entire last section of the book – is about changing people without their resenting you.
For now a great place to start might be to just follow the advice of Mr. Carnegie and adopt this rule of never condemning, criticizing or complaining…
I have a feeling it’ll help a TON!
Shortcut number two–show honest and sincere appreciation
Have never received a heartfelt thank you note From someone who really appreciated something that you had said or done?
How did it make you feel?
It seems that one of our deep human needs is the desire to feel important.
We want to have a sense that we matter.
A simple way to make people like us, is to express honest and sincere appreciation for them and what they do for us in our lives.
Recently I received A strange package in the mail.
I opened it up and it was a poster that had a picture of me in the center, and notes of gratitude From many of the people who attend our morning mindset call.
My response?
I was in tears.
How do you think I feel about the people who took the time to organize that project and send me that gift?
Pretty obvious isn’t it?
Very simple way to have success working with people.
Shortcut number three – Arouse in the other person an eager want
The simple truth About getting people to do What you want them to do, is to remember they could care less about what you want.
They only really care want about what they want.
Some of my early network marketing mentors used to remind me that everyone is tuned in to the same radio station.
It’s called…
You guessed it,
WIIFM – what’s in it for me Radio.
The cool thing about network marketing Is – Usually, when we help other people get what they want, that typically results in us getting what we want.
So the real key in influencing people is to find out what it is that they want.
Noah St. John in the book, The secret code of success, Says that Life gets very easy when you begin always talking in terms of benefits to the other person.
In prospecting, this is crucial.
You can ask questions like…
What is your dream?
How much money are you looking to make?
What are you looking to get out of this business?
When you get the answer, It’s like you have discovered A golden lever for being able to move that person forward toward getting what they want.
A simple language pattern for this is….
If I could show you how to get ______(what you just told me you wanted), would you be open to watching a short video that can help you get there A little faster?
And there are other variations of this…
Important point to remember though, is that when you begin to speak in terms of benefits to the other person, and specifically, if you can speak in terms of exactly what the person told you they wanted, sponsoring sponsoring, recruiting and up selling becomes almost effortless.
we all want to get what we want to get, and we’re all always open to legitimate ways that can help us get there faster
Right?
Shortcut number four – be genuinely interested in other people
I remember, Reading this book for the first time And trying this out as an experiment on one of my family members at a family reunion.
I remember the interaction vividly.
I was standing against the wall talking to my cousin…
I would ask her a question And listen to her response.
As she replied, I would not my head, wide in my eyes, And say things like, “oh wow that’s interesting”.
After 45 minutes of her talking almost continuously, we ended the conversation.
Later on I got the report back Through my wife.
Word was out that I was an incredible conversationalist.
This stuff works like magic I’m telling you.
Back when I used to do phone prospecting, This was my secret weapon.
I sometimes would talk to one prospect For 20 to 30 minutes.
All the while asking questions and listening With sincere interest.
The vast majority of phone of phone prospecting trainers, Would tell you that it’s a complete waste of time to spend this much time with a prospect.
Maybe it is, and I’m certainly grateful that with this business system I don’t have to spend time phone prospecting anymore.
However the point remains, phone prospecting using this secret weapon, (and combined with some good lead generation strategies), was responsible for me becoming the number one recruiter in my network marketing company.
Maybe Dale Carnegie was right?
Shortcut number five – smile
As self explanatory as this rule seems to be, it’s amazing how much we forget.
How do you feel when someone smiles at you?
Sort of makes you like them doesn’t?
I won’t belabor the issue here, Because it is pretty obvious, people who smile are more likable than people who don’t.
Shortcut number six – Remember peoples names
Have you ever been on a conference call or at an event, when your name was mentioned?
If so I want to ask you a question…
What was your favorite part of that entire event?
I think I already know the answer.
How do I know?
Because we’re all just like you.
According to Dale Carnegie, the sweetest sound in all of human language, is the sound of our own first name.
When people take the time to remember names, that goes along way in establishing relationship a great relationship.
How does this work out in marketing?
I’ve noticed that if I put a person’s first name in the subject line the open rates are a lot higher.
Gary Halbert, famous copywriter, says the best way to get a persons attention in a crowd of people, is to yell their name.
Maybe something to remember.
Shortcut number seven –be a listener and get them talking
I’m still trying to figure out How this is different From Shortcut number four.
Be genuinely interested in other people.
One of my team members, Joshua Blayless, pointed out that being interested in other people is more of a mindset or a philosophy,
…whereas shortcut number seven contains the skills in which you apply that philosophy.
In any case it’s pretty clear, that good listeners seem to be, in many cases, the most valued party in the communication, especially one-on-one communication.
In sales, particularly one-on-one sales, this is important for a number of reasons.
First by asking questions and listening, You are showing Your prospect that they are important.
Again remember that one of our core desires as human beings, is the need to feel important.
When you help another person have this feeling by listening by asking questions, you’re helping to fill one of their core fundamental needs as a human being.
This can only play out in your favor.
In addition to this, I have found that when you listen well, to what another person is saying in response to your questions, they will tell you exactly how to sell them.
They will tell you what’s important to them.
They will tell you what they want out of life.
As long as you have something That can help them along their journey,
… you can ethically use this information in your pitch, when the time is right.
Without this information, you’re flying blind.
Maybe this is why, one of the most successful Internet marketers on the planet, Frank Kern, said one time, that there is no better way to sell, them in a one-on-one interaction.
Interesting isn’t it?
So there you have it my friend…
The top seven shortcuts to winning friends and influencing people.
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Shortcut number one–never criticize condemn or complain
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Shortcut number two– show honest and sincere appreciation
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Shortcut number three–arouse in them and eager want
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Shortcut number four – be genuinely interested in other people
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Shortcut number five – smile
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Shortcut number six – Remember that a person’s name is the sweetest sound
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Shortcut number seven – Ask questions and be a great listener
Did you enjoy this post? What were your favorite tips? Have you used these tips before? Would love to hear your experience below…