To Infinity, My Friend, Nick Rehmani

I didn’t want to write this.

I kept putting it off. Like writing it would mean saying goodbye,

… I didn’t wanna do that.

I remembered a Lumineers song, and pulled it up…

Nobody knows how to say goodbye,

Seems so easy, till you try.

I finished the song and for the first time, understood it.

The news came Wednesday morning. My friend Nick had been killed in a motorcycle accident.

A flood of tears and sobs overtook me. A wave of grief stricken shock, instantly made me aware of how much he’d meant to me, because he was gone.

They say “give the flowers now” to remind us to let people know how much they mean to us, before we can’t.

It’s a good sentiment, but I don’t think we can ever fully do it.

I read once that the way to really love something is to realize it could be lost.

That’s wrong too.

Only when someone is actually lost, do you realize, the hole they filled, because now it’s empty, and you stare into it, wondering how you could have ever taken it for granted.

I met Nick 4 years ago.

He’d found me through a mutual friend & asked me if our product could help him build a funnel for his business.

I answered his questions, & he said “oh wow I hope it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.”

“Only a few fingers” I told him.

He laughed and said “humor, that’s a good sign.”

That’s where business ended, and friendship began.

One day he texts,

“Hey what’s the prescription on your glasses?”

Huh? Why? Nobody’s ever asked me that before.

Next thing I know a prescription set of Ray-Bans shows up in my mailbox.

Who does that?

Nick did.

And that was just the first of gifts that were to show up in my mailbox over the next 4 years.

2 West Virginia sweatshirts, a t-shirt, books on Rumi, “Awaken to Love” was one of the titles, and even a purple wand, because he’d heard me say “I feel like a wizard” on one of our masterminds.

When we got together and cried as a group, I realized that Nick did this kind of thing for many people.

“Do you need anything Robin? Do you need some money, I’ll send you money.”

Another example.

I could go on and on with the stories of Nick, showing love, through gifts, conversation and friendship, for many, many people.

“Through the darkness to the dawn

…and when I looked back, you were gone.”

That line sang out as more tears leaked out of my eyes, behind the sunglasses he gave me…

“Nobody knows, how to say goodbye.”

So I won’t try.

I’ll just reflect on something Nick posted a while back when someone asked him where he was headed on his motorcycle.

“Where you heading?”

“To infinity.”

God willing, I’ll see you there.

Safe travels brother.

Thank you for bringing a spark of the infinite to me and so many others while you were here.

I love you. I’ll miss you. I’ll never forget you and what you came to teach me.

Thank you for helping us all “awaken to love” just a little bit more, because you were here.

Paul

PS: Losing Nick has increased my faith, alot.

Strange to say right?

Check this out…

When I had that ‘aha’ moment with the song, I texted Amy to let her know…

Then she sent me this…

Then, later, as I was driving home from Boise, I was still listening to the same song, and at the exact moment these lyrics played out in my car speakers, I look down at my phone and see…

The exact lines that were playing on the song at the exact moment I read them in the text.

These all felt like Universe winks, messages to comfort me and remind me that something bigger is at play…

And then, this morning, I’d come out to my office to switch headphones. I took one pair off, put the other on, and heard a song playing that shocked me.

The lines from the song said,

“Nick Rehmani shining so bright, in the academy he’s our light…”

I was like.. what the heck is going on?

I swiped all of the open screens off my phone trying to figure out where the song was playing from.

Got them all cleared out, and the song was still playing.

Came to my desktop computer, and realized the song was playing on iTunes.

I’d made this song for Nick a year or so ago.

I guess it had been saved on my computer, and for some strange, inexplicable reason, it started playing randomly this morning.

It has never done that before.

So yes. I do believe there is a bigger plan. And things at play we don’t understand, but that are for our good, in the grand scheme of things.