Sitting here in my local internet cafe, just finishing up my business and personal books, which is a great new habit I’ve developed over the last couple years thanks to the invitation by Mark J Kohler.
Check out this post I wrote a couple weeks ago for a cool tool & some reasons why this is useful for freedom crusaders.
Anyway, I was reflecting on the feedback I got from an apology email I sent out a few days ago.
I had written the name “Aunt Jemima” in an email from name during a promotion and then received some interesting feedback.
First response I got was from a friend who wrote me this..
I was shocked at first because truthfully, I couldn’t even remember where I heard the term.
Then I got this email.
I quickly did some internet research and discovered that ‘Aunt Jemima’ has been and still is a food brand currently owned by the Quaker Oats company.
You can see the history of the brand here.
I was slightly confused as to how this reference was offensive, but read the following on Wikipedia.
One of my early mentors who was a master of communication taught me a great communication lesson.
He said..
“The meaning of your communication is not the words you say, but the effect it has on people.”
This means that as someone who is endeavoring to master the art of communication, I must be conscious of the effect my words have on people, not just my intent.
And this is why I issued an apology email to those who may have been offended by my reference.
After the apology email, I started getting more email responses from great freedom crusaders on my list…
and…
and
So interesting to see the different effects on people, produced by the exact same communication isn’t it?
Another great friend and subscriber T, in Oregon wrote me this kind response…
I guess at the end of the day, no matter what you say or do, you will end up pleasing some and angering others.
So what’s the right path in those situations?
In my humble opinion, (to quote my subscriber above), the right course of action is to always be true to YOU and who you want to be, regardless of who likes it or not.
Only Paul Hutchings can do Paul Hutchings and only you can do you.
So here’s my 2 cents on it all…
If I can issue an apology that can help to ease someone’s inner turmoil, I’m happy to do that – whether I’ve done something wrong, or not.
If I can encourage people to take less offense, and more responsibility for the ways they choose to respond to the world around them, I’m super happy to do that as well.
Harmony and growth are what I’m after, and perhaps there’s no 1 right way to get there.
Just the way you choose to do it.
It’s an interesting commentary on the state of affairs though isn’t it?
My little email list is a small microcosm reflecting the bigger macrocosm of society.
At the end of the day – we all have responsibility for making this world a better place and, in my mind, 2 sure ways to get there are…
- Do the best we can to lift people rather than tear them down
- Do the best we can to be responsible for how we respond to both enlightened and unenlightened communication, remembering that blame, in many cases, is a tool we use as an excuse to keep ourselves from moving forward in the best way possible.
On Friday’s mastermind I quoted some lines from Sylvester Stallone that I think put a nice bow on this whole topic.
He said…
‘Lemme tell you something that you already know. This world ain’t all sushine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there if you let it.
You, or me, or nobody’s gonna hit as hard as life but it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving foward. It’s about how much you can take, and keep moving forward.
Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out there and get what you’re worth but you gotta be willing to take the hits and not point fingers and anyone saying you’re not where you wanna be because of him, or her or nobody.
Cowards do that and that ain’t you!
You’re better than that!”