The Day My Dad Left

I was standing in the yard – watching his old 80’s model white pickup truck – loaded to the hilt with all his stuff, pull out of the driveway.

I was 8 years old.

I remember, a few tears falling down my face as I wondered how long it would be until I saw my dad again .

(Little did I know it wouldn’t be until his funural 10 years later).

A month or so after he left, my mom wanted me to call & see how we was coming along at his new job.

He’d left because he found work in California and was going to be sending money back to my mom, little sister and I.

So even though we were sad, we knew it was for a good reason that he’d decided to go away for a while.

When my mom was a little girl, she lost her hearing during a life-threatening bout of Scarlet fever.

Because of this challenge, when phone calls needed to be made for the family – it was up to me, an 8 year old boy, to make those calls.

So there I was, standing next to the dresser that held up the phone,

….in the master bedroom of our 1978 double wide trailerhouse, with the phone up to my ear, listening to the sound of the “ring, ring ring”,

waiting with eager anticipation to talk to my dad.

“Hello“, someone asnwered.

“Hi, can I please speak to the manager?”

(my dad was supposedly the manager at this hotel)

“Uh, no, I’m sorry, Kimberly’s not here right now” responded the voice on the other end of the line.

My 8 year old heart sank.

Kimberly was the lady my dad had been running around with prior to his departure.

The lady that had contributed to some of the fights among my parents, and the tears shed by my mom.

Turns out, that my dad had not left to be the manager of a hotel after all.

He’d abandoned our little family, to be with another woman.

I’m working out in the gym this morning and I see a Facebook message pop through.

It’s a voice message.

I’m just about done with my workout so I click play – to hear what my friend David Query, an over the road trucker, has to say to me on this fine Monday morning.

David begins to describe a breakthrough he just had, while listening to a training I had put together for him.

My eyes widen, my ears perk up – I lean in eagerly to catch the next part of the message as he describes where the breakthrough came.

I had been telling my story – which includes the part about my dad leaving when I was 8 years old – and I used an interesting set of words to describe the experience of my dad leaving my family.

“Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you choose to look at it, my dad left my family when I was 8 years old” I said.

You see, I learned years ago – from studying the book Think And Grow Rich, that

“In every apparent setback lies the seed of an equal or greater advantage.”

I’ve invested a lot of time and thought analyzing the experiences of my life, to see if that statement just might be true.

When I think back upon the experience of my dad leaving, from the hindsight of a 27 year distance, here’s what I see.

• A little 8 year old boy, who was forced to take responsibility at an early age.
• A small child – who, because his mom and little sister were depending upon on him – had to develop communication skills to help the family out.
• All the experiences of missing my dad at important events like Father-Son campouts, church gatherings, pinewood derby’s etc.- that forged inside of me – the desire to provide for my future family – in a way that I might like to have experienced myself, as a child.

I realize now, that my dad leaving my family when he did, was actually a blessing in disguise.

An greater advantage in the setback.

A tree in the seed.

And now, I’m grateful, that my friend David was able to see something in my story that he hadn’t seen before.

And now, he’s going to be able to see new things in life – that have always been there,

…but have remained ever so slightly hidden, because he was viewing them with an old set of glasses.

And the ripple effect – of that blessing of my dad leaving, continues and continues and continues to pay back – and pay back and pay back.

I wonder what experiences have happened and are happening in your life, that are forcing your seed to sprout forth and grow into the mighty Oak tree, that maybe you’re destined to become.

Fascinating isn’t it?

Thanks for reading my friend, and remember – Lady wisdom stands ever over us – as we continue to journey through life, reminding us…

To see the TREE in the Seed.

Do you believe there is the seed of something greater in every adverse experience? Do you have similar experiences? Please share with me below.