The Science of Rapport: How to Achieve Results Fast

All of a sudden, heads begin to turn toward the front of the room.

Our fearless leader, Dave has arrived.

Late, of course. 😉

Apparently our company CEO called & woke him up about an hour into the breakfast & asked him,

“Dave, do you wanna speak at the top 200 breakfast?”

Dave: “Sure, when is it?”

CEO: “About an hour ago.”

Chuckles fill the room.

Everyone relaxes, leans in and opens up to receive the message Dave has to share with us.

One of the things I notice, about my sponsor & mentor, is that he’s an absolute master, at building rapport, everywhere he goes.

He’s also a master influencer.

And these 2 – Rapport and influence are inseparably connected.

Many people read books on Influence, like ‘THE book on influence” by Dr. Rober Cialdini – begin to apply the tactics, and wonder why people don’t respond to their strategies.

1 big reason for the failure in ‘response’, could be the lack of rapport, which is by definition, responsiveness.

You know the feeling, you get, when you’re around someone who you feel ‘gets you’?

You muscles relax, your tensions ease up and your guard goes does.

You smile, and open yourself up.

Rapport is simply a heightened level of harmony between people where the communication seems to flow like warm energy.

Feelings and thoughts are charged with a level of ‘comfort‘, that tends to create a ‘safe zone’ for the people to operate.

According to my mentor, the principles of influence work when there is rapport.

Without rapport, none of it works.

Another way to look at this is through the principle of Affinity – which means a feeling of commonality between people.

AKA – The liking factor.

Anthony Robbins says that people like people who are like you, or like how you would like to be.

I’ve noticed my mentor getting high levels of rapport with people, using some of the following strategies.

1) Humor – a GREAT way to make people like you, is to make them laugh.

My mentor always makes people laugh.

2) Telling stories of affinity – When you tell stories that show how you ‘get’ the challenges or feelings of others, they automatically respond with liking you.

3) BEING someone that others want to be like.

He’s confident to the point of absolute certainty.

He’s funny, he’s totally relaxed and comfortable being himself and leading large groups of people.

He’s got MASSIVE vision. He’s super successful. He loves people.

All of these are qualities that many of us, want in ourselves and we so we naturally ‘respond‘ to those who exhibit characteristics we want.

LASTLY – And perhaps most importantly, the fastest way to develop rapport with someone is to match and mirror their unconscious responses.

Posture, tone, gestures, facial expression, volume level, proximity, breathing, ETC.

According to Anthony Robbins,

“Style is more important than substance initially.”

In other words, people won’t CARE what you know or what you have to say, unless your STYLE establishes some rapport so they’ll then listen.

So there ya go.

I hope you’ve enjoyed these tips on How To Get Rapport

And remember, it’s one thing to ‘know’ these things intellectually,

…a whole other to USE these ideas to have success in working with people.

Practice.

🙂

What strategies have you used to get rapport with people? I’d love to hear down below.