You ever feel like you’re doing everything right on Facebook… until it’s time to actually talk to someone
If so, you’re not alone. I read a message from one of my friends who recently got started on the “Build residual income from home & create financial freedom journey” and this is basically what he said…
So I went through the Facebook marketing training, and honestly… content-wise? I feel good.
I’m creating, posting, showing up.
But where I keep dropping the ball?
Messaging. 🫠
Yup, I said it. Even after the training, I still feel like I suck at it sometimes.
I’ve got a new Facebook profile, so I’m still building my friends list. But when it comes to actually starting conversations and finding a way to connect in the DMs… I freeze up. Especially when someone beats me to the punch and asks me first what I do or why I friended them. 😂
What if the reason your DMs feel awkward isn’t what you’re saying… but how you’re thinking before you say it?
And what if there was one simple strategy that could ALWAYS empower you to take back control of the conversation, so you never end up feeling like you’ve lost it and end up getting prospected instead of the other way around?
In this post, I’m gonna share 2 simple tips that have helped me a ton over the years and my hope is, they can help you too.
1️⃣ Start with the Right Intentions
If you’re building new relationships on facebook and the goal of messaging is “I hope I make a sale,” or “I’m in a hurry and I gotta get through the numbers” you’re gonna feel pressure, tension, and awkwardness.
But if the goal is, “Let me make a new friend today and find out what they care about,” and maybe even “I wonder what I can learn from this person, that might help my business” everything shifts.
No one wants to feel like a prospect. But everyone wants to feel seen, heard, and appreciated.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself to be sure you’re in the right state of mind before ever starting a relationship building conversation on Facebook…
Can I be genuinely and intensely curious about this person today?
Can I leave them better than I found them?
Can I make them laugh?
Can I make them smile?
Can I help them feel like they’re important and that what they do matters?
Can I learn something from them that will help me?
Can I share something that will help them?
Can this conversation create a perspective shift that births new life and vision?
Do I understand that this conversation might be a seed investment of time now, for a strong money tree until later?
Am I ok with that?
If you’ve got the “yes” energy flowing, you’re ready for the next step.
2️⃣ Lead the Conversation Like a Pro
Now let’s get tactical.
A) Be crazy interested and generous with compliments.
When someone tells you what they do, where they’re from, or something cool about their family or hobbies—jump on it like a kid on their first trampoline.
- Respond with interest.
- Add a compliment and/or relate
- And ask a quick follow-up question.
Example:
“Wow, you live in Colorado? That’s awesome—were you born and raised there?”
“You’re a teacher? Oh cool – my my aunt was a teacher. What a great opportunity for making a real difference in the lives of kids & the future —how long have you been doing that?”
This creates flow and keeps the focus on them, where most people feel comfortable.
When you learn to do this right, people will talk and talk and talk. The trick is to be genuinely present while you sincerely express interest, admiration and curiosity for the answers they give you.
B) How to lead the conversation like a pro
When connecting with others you do want to lead the conversation. This does not mean dominate the conversation. It means to artfully guide it so it serves the other person and you in the best way.
The key to doing this is to always end everything you say with a question that turns the conversation back on them.
If they tell you something you can relate to, highlight the commonality and then ask them a question.
If they ask YOU a question, answer it and then end your response with a question that turns the conversation back on them.
Let’s say they say:
“So, what do you do?”
Instead of dumping a pitch or freezing, try this:
“Ah thanks for asking. I’m a full time electrician, and I’m building a side business in my spare time. What do you do for work?”
You answer… but you end with a question that shines the spotlight back on them.
Final Thoughts:
Messaging isn’t about being slick. It’s about being present.
It’s about learning to listen, being genuinely curious, and guiding the conversation with heart and skill.
When you approach it with the right energy, people feel it—and the walls come down.
When I first starting doing this I felt awkward, scared and unsure of the process.
Now I can do this without even thinking about it & it’s the easiest thing ever.
This came with time & practice.
I’ve also learned that sincerely connecting with another human being, isn’t just a great way to grow my business, it’s one of the best ways I can help people feel the love of God through me.
It’s one of the best ways I can shine light and love and hope and positivity into a person’s life.
It’s one of the best ways to find content for my email list or social media videos.
In short, it’s one of the best ways I can actually help people.
If you’ve been feeling stuck with talking to prospects like my friend was, I hope this gives you a little spark of clarity and confidence to keep going because the rewards are worth it.
To Freedom and a better world,
—Paul
PS: The biggest mistake people make in this process not being able to silence their desire to be heard. When you do this right, it’s 100% about the other person and zero percent about you. This is hard for most people.
My friend Brett said “Your ego is not your amigo.”
If Ego, is “Edging God Out” – then talking too much, is basically you getting in the way of what God can do for each of you.
If we drop the Ego, then maybe there’s a chance Wego some place great together.