I’m sitting in a ‘top producer’ breakfast meeting yesterday having a good time, enjoying the conversation with great people who’ve got dreams,
… and are taking action to bring those dreams into reality.
All of a sudden, heads begin to turn toward the front of the room.
Our fearless leader, Dave has arrived.
Late, of course. 😉
Apparently our company CEO called & woke him up about an hour into the breakfast & asked him,
“Dave, do you wanna speak at the top 200 breakfast?”
Dave: “Sure, when is it?”
CEO: “About an hour ago.”
Chuckles fill the room.
Everyone relaxes, leans in and opens up to receive the message Dave has to share with us.
One of the things I notice, about my sponsor & mentor, is that he’s an absolute master, at building rapport, everywhere he goes.
He’s also a master influencer.
And these 2 – Rapport and influence are inseparably connected.
Many people read books on Influence, like ‘THE book on influence” by Dr. Rober Cialdini – begin to apply the tactics, and wonder why people don’t respond to their strategies.
1 big reason for the failure in ‘response’, could be the lack of rapport, which is by definition, responsiveness.
What is Rapport?
You know the feeling, you get, when you’re around someone who you feel ‘gets you’?
You muscles relax, your tensions ease up and your guard goes does.
You smile, and open yourself up.
Rapport is simply a heightened level of harmony between people where the communication seems to flow like warm energy.
Feelings and thoughts are charged with a level of ‘comfort‘, that tends to create a ‘safe zone’ for the people to operate.
According to my mentor, the principles of influence work when there is rapport.
Without rapport, none of it works.
Another way to look at this is through the principle of Affinity – which means a feeling of commonality between people.
AKA – The liking factor.
Anthony Robbins says that people like people who are like you, or like how you would like to be.
How To Get Rapport
I’ve noticed my mentor getting high levels of rapport with people, using some of the following strategies.
1) Humor – a GREAT way to make people like you, is to make them laugh.
My mentor always makes people laugh.
2) Telling stories of affinity – When you tell stories that show how you ‘get’ the challenges or feelings of others, they automatically respond with liking you.
3) BEING someone that others want to be like.
He’s confident to the point of absolute certainty.
He’s funny, he’s totally relaxed and comfortable being himself and leading large groups of people.
He’s got MASSIVE vision. He’s super successful. He loves people.
All of these are qualities that many of us, want in ourselves and we so we naturally ‘respond‘ to those who exhibit characteristics we want.
LASTLY – And perhaps most importantly, the fastest way to develop rapport with someone is to match and mirror their unconscious responses.
Posture, tone, gestures, facial expression, volume level, proximity, breathing, ETC.
According to Anthony Robbins,
“Style is more important than substance initially.”
In other words, people won’t CARE what you know or what you have to say, unless your STYLE establishes some rapport so they’ll then listen.
So there ya go.
I hope you’ve enjoyed these tips on How To Get Rapport
And remember, it’s one thing to ‘know’ these things intellectually,
…a whole other to USE these ideas to have success in working with people.
Practice.
🙂
What strategies have you used to get rapport with people? I’d love to hear down below.
This post put a frame on the kind of person I strive to be. Thanks
Hey Paul, great post brother! Like TR says…Rapport is Power! I believe once we find out who we are, build our self-confidence and be our authentic positive self…rapport should follow automatically. 🙂
Damn Paul..You’re the man. Nailing the building rapport on the head. You like Rogue absorbing the power…teach brother.
awesome tips paul on building rapport. You and dave wood are great at this =)
Powerful post Paul. Building rapport is crucial to be able to become influential to others.
I’ve noticed a lot of these same things in Dave Wood and agree that he’s a master at it. “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie is also a great resource to learn about building rapport.
Thanks Paul for sharing how important rapport is! This info is so true and valuable.
Great info paul. Thank you for posting this!
Awesome post Paul on rapport. Dave is definitely a master of rapport. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks so much Carolyn!
You’re the BOMB!
We’ll keep studying & practicing right? 😉
Thanks Paul for sharing. Awesome post, got so much out of it. Great tips. Dave is of course a great leader and mentor who I admire too. When I grow up I want to be like Dave 🙂
My pleasure Marko..
and… I have to smile because I feel the same way you do.
“When I grow up, I wanna be like Dave too” 🙂
Best wishes!
I agree rapport building is just as important as influence. Thanks for the great tips.
Thanks Sandy! Appreciate your insight
Wow Paul…boy, boy…what a fantastic post. Dave is just and amazing and powerful leader. He has everything there is to being an influential leader. He can talk and engage in a rapport easily and effortless. He is just himself. Thanks for the value and sharing Tony’s video.
Thanks FJ,
And man.. Isn’t he?
We’re all so lucky to be modeling such an incredible leader.
Yes sir.. he’s just himself.. and I think that’s a BIG part of the magic, don’t you think?
Thanks FJ!
Hey Michael!
Thanks man.
I agree with you 100%
Such a great point… ‘allowing what they don’t have preventing them from using what they DO have”
Wow.. such a great nugget. Thanks for that.
Oh man.. David is a master… So grateful to have the chance to model & learn from him.
We’re lucky right?
Hey Paul……Great post!! It’s so true about how when you are around someone who really “gets” you, you’re able to relax, be yourself and step into your own power, without fear of being judged.
Too many people allow what they don’t have to keep them from using what they DO have!! David Wood is an absolute MASTER at bringing out the BEST in people and helping them to shine.
Thanks for posting!
This was a fantastic post Paul. Report is definitely king when trying to make a connection with people. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks William!
Appreciate that. Cool thing is, we can always get better at it too.
Thanks for reading!
Paul
Paul,
I have to agree…building rapport is an art and Dave Wood does it with power and conviction and love every time. And you concepts on building rapport my matching people is brilliant.
I’ve noticed a shift in darneder with people I’ve come in to contact with who may be agitated or gruff. Once you match them you can actually bring them to where ever you want. Bring them down to a comfortable level or build them up to a higher frenzy.
Ken Pickard The Network Dad
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Hey Ken,
Thanks for the comment… Isn’t it amazing that we have a master like Dave to learn from?
I’ve never, in all my life, met anyone like him.
Thanks for sharing your experience with matching.
Much appreciated.
Paul